4 ways to choose love over fear as an actor
Doubt, imposter syndrome, nerves...at the heart of all these negative experiences is fear. Isn’t it?
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of the “what if’s” in our lives and careers.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear of looking dumb in an audition or at a networking event.
Fear of not getting what we want in our acting careers.
Fear of having to be honest with ourselves.
The list goes on and on and on. Fear can wiggle its way into every part of our lives if we let it. And it’s contagious, too. So, as smart actors and generally self-aware human beings, it’s up to each of us to choose the place from which to make our decisions and monitor our thoughts. That’s right, YOU get to choose what you want your life to be driven by and where your choices stem from. So is it going to be love or fear?
Don’t get me wrong, choosing love over fear can be hard! We aren’t forced to deal with this during our happiest days, when everything is going exactly how we want it to go. This choice appears in the moments when the curveballs arrive, when disappointments and betrayals happen, when life is turned upside down. And that’s why it’s a choice. Because in our best moments, it’s easy and natural to make loving choices, right? It’s much more difficult when life gets tough. When we’re scared or jealous or whatever is going on. But that’s when it matters.
So when the going gets tough or uncomfortable, where does your mind go? What’s the train of thought that you go through? Next time, I challenge you to notice your thoughts and the path they take. Do you like where they’re going? Are they following a path of love or fear? It’s important to realize how you’ve been trained to react or the bad habits you’ve slipped into. We all have ‘em. You might be surprised to find that your mind is leading you astray. But the good news is that you can retrain that thought process in a more positive direction!
4 tips for choosing love in your acting career
As actors, maintaining a positive, powerful mindset of abundance is vital to crushing those auditions, creating a healthy community and making strategic decisions about the direction of our careers overall. Coaches, agents, and casting directors have all said it and I’ll tell ya, I’ve seen it work in my own career too. But all of those things: positivity, abundance, success, all of those things come from a place of love. It’s impossible to sustain those things from a place of fear.
So, we all want successful careers, being #bookedandblessed, and living the life of our dreams, right? So let’s talk about how we can choose love over fear. Here are a few ways to choose love over fear as an actor.
Pause and Breathe, Then Respond: Pause before you react to anything and everything that might be trying you. Take at least three to five deep breaths first. I’m a firm believer that our thoughts are driven by breath or lack thereof. Oxygen fuels our body’s functioning, so if you aren’t breathing, there’s no way your body can perform, process, and make decisions at your highest and best level, right? So breathe first, then think. And then actively choose to respond through a lense of love.
Do Hard Things: Be brave enough to do hard things. Fear will tell you to hide. Don’t listen. A hard thing might be showing kindness to another actor who is being rude while waiting to go in for an audition. It might look like choosing to celebrate every audition you get to do rather than dwell on the bookings you don’t get. A hard thing for you might be jumping into a new class with an open heart and mind instead of shrinking yourself into the corner feeling inadequate.
Get Honest About Your Fears: Make a list of what you’re really afraid of. Are you worried people won’t like you? Are you scared of putting yourself in the spotlight? Does the thought of being bad at something make you feel sick? What about losing your friend or partner? We all have those dark and raw fears that live deep down inside. They’re not cute but we all have em. Our lists are all going to look a little different, and that’s expected. But being honest with yourself and aware of these fears is the first step to conquering them. I think you’ll be amazed when you begin to realize where some of your thoughts and impulses stem from after making this list. I encourage you to use it as a roadmap in your personal development.
Positive Visualization Practices: Visualize the moments of your life where you’ve felt confident, proud, and in your element. Really transport yourself back to that exact moment in time. Notice how that felt. What were you doing? Who was with you? What details come to mind about your environment? Make a list of those key details and anything else that you know helps inspire love and happiness inside you. When you’re faced with a triggering situation, having this list on hand can make it easier to make choices that are from those places of love rather than giving into the fear.
Why is mindset important for actors?
As film and TV actors, every element of our jobs requires us to be uncomfortable, submit ourselves to constant rejection, and build a talent that might never been seen or celebrated on a global scale. It is already hard enough to be an actor in this day and age. The last thing we need is to add more stress and negativity to our lives due to our own fears. Training yourself to be mindful and aware of your reactions and choices (and where they stem from) can help you create the narrative and journey of a life you love. I don’t believe in the “struggling actor” mentality, and you shouldn’t either. We can choose to make wellness a priority as we pursue our dreams as actors.
At the end of the day, choosing love over fear isn’t just a savvy move for your acting career. It isn’t just about getting what you want in life. It’s about freeing yourself from fear and from making choices that will hurt you. It’s about filling your life with positivity and love no matter what uncontrollable factors are thrown at you. We can’t control whether we book or not. We can’t control everything in our lives. But we can control how we react to the hand we’re dealt and whether we enjoy this life or let it ruin our days. And that, my friends, is true power. That is true success.
I would love to hear how you choose love over fear every day. Feel free to tune into the full podcast episode and a review on your favorite listening platform, or drop me a comment over on Instagram or Facebook @itsaslateofmind or @alison_haselden. The best gift though is sharing this episode with a friend who could use it today. May we all fill these days with a little more love and a little less fear. Here’s to creating a life we love! Until next week, I’m here cheering you on.
