Let’s be real. For many of us, intimate scenes can come with a LOT of emotions. Nerves, fear, self-judgement, it’s a lot. But whether you have zero reservations and are ready for anything or have a lot of anxiety surrounding intimate scenes, it’s important to understand your rights on set. Prepare to feel educated and empowered because our goal is to take the fear out of this topic and make it approachable and even, dare we say, fun? 

In episode 50 of the It’s a Slate of Mind podcast, I brought in actor and in-training intimacy coordinator, Ashley Dougherty to share her personal experience with shooting intimate scenes as well as what she’s learned from training to be an intimacy coordinator. You might recognize Ashley from Season 1 of the podcast, or seen her on your TV screens in Dynasty, Doom Patrol, Saints and Sinners and coming soon in Teenage Bounty Hunters and P-Valley. Having booked and participated in many intimate scenes throughout her career, and wanting to make the experience better for everyone, she began her training to become a certified intimacy coordinator in 2019. Though the pandemic slowed down her ability to finish training, she is a wealth of knowledge both as an in-training coordinator and as a professional actress. 

Together, Ashley and I walk through all your questions regarding navigating intimate scenes in the world of film and TV. She provides her best tips for crushing your audition involving intimate moments as well as handling challenges that might occur when you get to set. We also cover important information about the legal and contracts specific to intimate scenes and how you can advocate for yourself. 

what is an intimacy coordinator?

In many ways, intimacy coordinators have been compared to stunt coordinators. They work with the director and actors to choreograph intimate scenes while also specifically focusing on the care and wellbeing of the actors. They’re somewhat of a bridge between the production team and the talent. This process often occurs in advance of on-set days. The intimacy coordinator will meet with the director and/or writers to understand the details of their desired scenes and begin to explore what the staging and movement might look like. They will also often meet with or call the actors in the scene to go over their personal boundaries, and confirm the information listed in their contracts and nudity riders. This helps ensure that the team is on the same page prior to arriving on set.

On the day of, the intimacy coordinator will work with the full team to choreograph and rehearse the scene. They’ll also ensure that all parties feel safe and that non-essential crew members respect reduced or closed sets. A good intimacy coordinator will also follow up with the actors after the day is over to make sure they are okay and happy with the work that was done. When well-trained and performing per the best practices, an intimacy coordinator truly is the actor’s advocate, and can change the entire mood of a set when shooting intimate scenes.

tips for auditioning with an intimate scene

When auditioning for an intimate scene, you want to make sure that you are in the right frame of mind. Obviously, do your prep work and rehearse like any other audition, but you might also want to take a moment to connect to your inner sensuality. What makes you feel sensual? A certain candle, song, or piece of clothing? Take time to figure that out for yourself and use those helpful tools to bring that side out of you in your audition. After all, casting won’t have a clue if your cinnamon roll candle is burning out of frame in your self-tape!

You might also want to make sure you’re taping with someone who you feel comfortable around. Especially in more vulnerable and intimate situations, your boundaries and comfort levels might vary - even for “just the audition”. If taping at a studio, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask to bring a friend or partner into the room to help you feel more comfortable, especially if your taper is of the opposite gender as you.

When it comes to the scene itself, you might get a scene involving some pretty wild physical movements. However, this does not mean that you need to try to act out an entire intimate scene in your self-tape audition. Similarly to auditioning with a fight scene, casting obviously doesn’t want you flailing about on camera by yourself. You should, however, get creative with ways to showcase the essence of that moment, location, or experience. When you know the rules, you can learn when to break them strategically.

on set tips for shooting intimate scenes

1. Create a playlist for your trailer to set the mood

   Similarly to other roles, put together a playlist of music that helps you get into character. This could be time period or location-specific, or just help you relax and get into the emotions of your character that day on set. Playing this in your trailer or in earbuds while you wait can help you reduce your nerves and stay focused on your job.

2. Take a relaxing bath

   Because so many of these intimate scenes are more physical than others might be, it’s important to prepare your body and spirit. For many people, taking a calming bath the night before shooting an intimate scene can really help! Consider adding essential oils, bath salts, or other aromatherapy additions to really relax.

3. Prepare with any beauty treatments that make you feel confident

   While I truly believe that we all have innate beauty, you know that certain treatments and routines just make you feel good, right? Whether it’s freshening up your haircut, getting your nails done, a facial, or another treatment, it can go a long way in helping you feel more confident when going in to shoot an intimate scene on set. But remember, always do what really makes you feel good, not what you think you should be doing.

4. Develop a ritual for the beginning and ending of the day

   A powerful practice for any emotional or physically vulnerable work as an actor, figure out a soothing ritual that helps you get into and out of character and the general emotional and mental space of your intimate work that day. This can involve a meditation, breathing exercises, essential oils, crystals, a favorite sweatshirt or piece of jewelry, journaling, or any other practice that works for you.

5. Try to connect with your costar(s) in advance

   If you are able to, it can be helpful to go to coffee, have a phone or video call, or simply chat for a while on set prior to working with another actor in an intimate scene. Because both of you are likely to be in an exposed or uncomfortable scenario, it can help ease your nerves and increase comfort level if that scene partner isn’t a total stranger. Just try to get to know them as a person and discuss your boundaries with together before you’re on the clock. Again, it’s not always possible, but can go a long way to making your day a good one.

6. Don’t let lack of connection with your costar(s) derail you

   Sometimes your scene partner isn’t going to be your best friend. And while unfortunate, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Always maintain professionalism whether you enjoy a scene partner’s personality or not. Try to focus on their good qualities and continue to uphold the high standards I know you have. Please note though, while not “clicking” with someone is normal, being harassed or made to feel uncomfortable is not. Be sure to speak up to your partner, intimacy coordinator, or production team if you feel unsafe.

7. Speak up for yourself

   Never be ashamed to advocate for yourself. You are allowed to let the team know if something is uncomfortable, not right, or breaching your contract. Maintaining your professionalism is not equivalent to allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat. Respectfully, yet firmly speak up for yourself when needed on set.

8. Call the union for help when needed

   If you need help from SAG-AFTRA for an emergency situation regarding an intimate scene, call them directly at 855-724-2387. For less immediate or urgent matters, you can email with questions to intimacy@sagaftra.com

navigating your contracts and nudity riders

So you booked a role in film or TV that requires nudity or an intimate scene! Congratulations! The next step for you is to negotiate and solidify your contract and/or nudity rider. This process will be done with the help of your representation. Keep in mind that for many roles, you may or may not have already verbally signed off on certain aspects of the intimate scene (typically nudity). Those previous agreements are unlikely to be adjusted unless you made note of your requests and were approved prior to the official booking. However, now is the time to work with your agent to outline any boundaries that you might have. Maybe you’re okay with some types of nudity but not others? Maybe there’s something specific you’d like to have in writing regarding the scene in question? Make sure that those details are listed in your contracts and nudity riders and signed by all parties prior to arriving on set.

Again, while positive progress is being made regarding intimacy in film and TV, there’s still a long way to go. While we also like to hope that the production team is acting out of respect and professionalism, unfortunately that is not always the case. This most commonly occurs when an actors is asked to do something they did not agree to in their contract and/or nudity rider. Sometimes this might be a lack of communication amongst members of the team, while other scenarios are more nefarious. No matter what the situation is, you should never feel pressured to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. Even more so, you should feel absolutely empowered and within your right to notify production that their request is outside of the agreed upon terms. Doing so professionally is simply following the legal contracts that both of you have signed. Don’t worry about the social backlash, simply be professional and ask them to revisit the contracts. If things get out of hand, again, be sure to notify your agent as well as the union.

If you are comfortable with the production’s requested changes, that’s great! However, it is important that you notify your representation and have them work with production to write up new contracts and have all parties sign before shooting those changed scenes. This is part of doing business and a perfectly standard manner of going about this situation. Again, it's so important for actors to know their rights and feel confident in protecting them. Because unfortunately, even in the present day, many folks in the entertainment industry will try to cut corners and skip over these important steps. Don’t let them. Plan to be your only advocate on set, and hope that you’re pleasantly surprised. As unfortunately grim as that sounds, it’s better to be prepared and ensure your safety than end up in a bad situation that you’re unprepared to advocate on your own behalf in.

These scenes come with a lot of moving parts and certain unknowns that the industry is still working to regulate, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be scared of them. If nothing else, I hope this reminds you to find the fun where you can, care for your wellbeing, know your rights, and stand up for yourself. 

Listen to the entire episode with Ashley Dougherty here, or feel free to send it to a friend who needs this important information as well! Our goal is always to make intimate scenes safer and more comfortable for everyone, and that starts with education. If you want to connect with Ashley and I to share your thoughts and tips on this topic, pop on over to Instagram and leave us a comment @itsaslateofmind. We would love to hear from you!