Direct Message Do’s and Don’ts for actors on social media
How’s your direct message hygiene doing, y’all? No matter who you are trying to connect with, DMs on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and beyond should be handled professionally with care to ensure you make a great first impression (or continuation of a relationship). Unfortunately, sometimes our intentions can get lost in translation or twisted due to bad advice. And I don’t want that for you! So let’s do a little refresher of the key do’s and don’ts for actors when it comes to social media direct messaging.
You should never send these DMs on social media:
🚨Spam sending the same cold promo for your career (a show you’re in, new reel, crowdfunding for a short, etc).
Yes, it is a great thing to use social media to get the word out about your upcoming projects and news in your acting career. However, sending the same spam message asking people to do something for you feels really…off. If you’re sending this message to someone you already know, they likely feel like you’re just using their friendship. And even worse, if you’re doing it to an acquaintance or someone you don’t know, they’ll likely write you off as…spam. People don’t want to make friends with spammers. Instead, start a REAL conversation and personalize your interactions, then you can bring up your thing in a more natural, genuine way. This will not only preserve your relationships but also greatly increase the likelihood of getting what you’re asking for.
🚨Demanding advice or help from an industry professional / coach without asking about how you can compensate them for their time.
Look, we get it. There are many industry professionals who create amazing free content and advice online - it’s important to remember that they do this as a free gift and do not owe you anything. They can stop posting the free help at any time and certainly are not obligated to give you free personalized help in the DMs. So, if you want to work with someone on your specific situation - DM them and ask them what the best way to do that would be - do they have a class or consultation option? This is the most respectful way to interact with these folks and you’ll actually get the information you need. Stop trying to cut corners, actors.
🚨DM’ing casting directors, producers, etc. without their invitation.
Just don’t do it. These people are very busy and, as mentioned above, interact with actors on social media in their free time. They do not need you pestering them about trying to score an audition with their office in their DMs. They likely won’t respond. And it definitely won’t paint you in a great light. Obviously, if they request you send them a message, or they reach out to you first, you can totally chat with them in DMs! But take their cues.
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WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING IN DIRECT MESSAGES:
✅ Having real conversations / building genuine relationships with other artists
This is the core “strategy” behind all networking both online and off. Be yourself! Focus on actually getting to know people and be interested in their lives and careers. It’s a very simple concept that often gets derailed by our own insecurities and fears. Take a deep breath, be brave enough to reach out and make friends. Those genuine interactions and relationships are what will best serve you in this business with other actors, reps, casting directors, filmmakers, and beyond.
✅ Double checking that your language comes across respectful & professional before sending
Have you ever re-read a message you sent and cringed a little because it didn’t quite come out how you meant it to? We’ve all been there, it happens. It can really help if you take a few extra seconds to double check those messages before hitting “send” to make sure that your language, tone of voice, and phrasing comes across in the way you intended. It can also be helpful to double check that your message is clear and concise, provides any context or information (that is necessary to understand), and make sure it sounds like you.
✅ Respecting boundaries / remember the human on the other end of the phone has a life outside of the app!
Putting yourself out there in a direct message can be really nerve-wracking and I challenge you to fight the urge to keep checking to see if they’ve seen or responded to it all day. Remember, we are all busy and have odd schedules in this industry, so we are not all on our phones checking messages 24/7. It might take them some time to see and reply to your message, but that doesn’t mean they hate you. Give them courtesy and grace, and don’t follow up the next day if they haven’t responded (give it a week!). When we respect other people’s boundaries, we teach them to respect ours as well. Which, again, is a great jumping-off point to build a positive relationship!
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