how to ‘own the room’ as an actor

Growing up in the entertainment industry, I was often one of or the youngest (by far) person in the room. I remember being at business meetings with my acting and music managers and it was absolutely normal for me to be the youngest and most inexperienced person by at least 20 to 30 years. I knew that I didn’t know everything about navigating the business, networking events, or even how to make my presence fully known in auditions. But I was so eager to learn.

I watched everything. I learned so much by observing. Everything my reps did, my friends in the business, my competition, my heroes, the execs and producers, the assistants of those suits- everyone. I was a sponge and soaked up all the information I could about how to “own the room”. You know those people who just seem to float through a room, greeting old friends and making new ones with ease? They always look cool, calm, collected, and confident. It’s almost like they’re the sun and the rest of us are the planets that orbit around them, right? THAT is what I wanted to learn. How to connect with others and leave them knowing that I made a good impression.

So as an introverted child actor that was a huge mission for me. And it took me YEARS of trial and error to figure out a process and a mindset that worked for me. Especially when it came to learning how to make my mark and let my light shine through...without being a jerk. Because let’s be honest, not every example I saw in the entertainment business was a good one. Heck, I continually revise my approach to owning the room as an actor. While it could ebb and flow even from day to day, however, I’ve realized some core ideas around this issue that have seriously changed the way I present myself. In this blog post I plan to share my secrets with you.

common networking struggles for actors

There are a few different categories that people tend to fall into when networking - but specifically when actors approach the idea of owning the room. There are so many different opinions and pieces of advice thrown around (often without context) that can so easily lead actors astray. Your personality type, networking experience level, good or bad training, and personal growth are all factors that determine how we show up when it comes to networking. Here are a few types of actor networking struggles I commonly see:

• First struggle: Terrified. Not sure where to start or what to do. Worried about offending or overstepping or looking dumb or ruining everything. They have a constant mental monologue running through their head which leads them to either stay silent, fall behind in the conversation, or appear anxious.

• Second struggle: They mean so well and are trying to implement the advice and tactics they’ve received, but there’s a disconnect between what they’re presenting and their true essence. Their true self isn’t shining through and people often perceive them in a less authentic manner. Maybe your mistaken to be rude or off.

• Third struggle: Total ego trip. The attitude and presentation of this networker definitely grab attention. but in a really negative and off-putting way. This networker has the mindset of a taker, not a giver. They’re always looking for the next opportunity for someone to boost their career up and don’t care about people who aren’t in a position to help them.

Did one of those struggles resonate with you? No matter which one of those camps you might be in, I promise that owning the room is a skill that you can absolutely learn to master. It’s a muscle that needs to be trained and flexed regularly to really get good at it, kind of like acting, right? So no matter how you feel about this idea, know that I have full faith in you to own the room. Whether it’s in an in-person audition, at a networking event, business meeting, or anywhere else. You are capable of crushing it! All you need to do is keep an open mind, be coachable, and willing to do some self-reflection and improvement.

my networking mantra

Many of us actors struggle with reorienting how we think about the concept of owning the room in general. The possessiveness of the word “ownership” can easily send us in the wrong direction of thinking. Often we think we have to put on this alter-ego, or “fake it til we make it” as actors to achieve that star power that captures attention and connections. However, my personal strategy takes an opposite approach.

So what does it really mean to own the room and become a master networker as an actor? Here’s my definition of owning the room:

“Show up prepared to share your magnetic light with confidence and purpose.”

Let’s break down what that phrase truly means, because each and every word was selected strategically for a purpose and deeper meaning.

1. Show up prepared

   Physically being at the event is one thing, but showing up prepared is another entirely. Mentally and physically - are you present? Are you alert and processing the visual and audio information around you? Did you prepare your outfit and styling to represent your personal brand or your character? Did you do your research on the event, or casting team? Do you have all the needed materials? 

2. To Share

   Share. You are there to share your presence. You should walk in the room with the intention to give. Never to get something. Make sure everyone around feels better for having met you that day. That is your goal. Focusing on giving to others can also significantly help you reduce your nerves and anxiety because it automatically shifts your ‘why’ or your reason for being there.

3. Your magnetic light

   I believe that all actors have qualities that set us apart, or certain skills we thrive at. Do you have a 100-watt smile that puts people at ease? Maybe you’re often told that your laughter is contagious? Or you’ve got a knack for being a great listener and making people feel heard and understood? Those are our “magnetic qualities”. Learn what your superpowers are and how to leverage them in a networking event. It really is another way to give back to others in the entertainment industry while also stepping up your networking game.

4. With confidence and purpose

   Hopefully if you got the first three parts of this concept down, you’re already feeling more confident and comfortable. But as actors, I want you to have confidence that’s through the roof! You are the only you in that room. No one can do exactly what you do in the way you do it. No one. And that is a concept that you can and should feel a sense of possession and ownership over. Lock into your ‘why’ and why you are there in that moment. Nothing else really matters. Your purpose as an artist, and as a human should be a grounding force in your life. No one can take that from you. 

you have to own yourself before you can ‘own the room’

When it comes to the literal room, adjust your thinking. This is not a place of judgement. It is a space for you to be your best self. It’s a canvas for you to create something beautiful on. A room filled with new opportunities for you and your acting career. One of the most important lessons I had to learn about networking and owning the room as an actor is that personal growth and self-love is crucial. The more you get to know yourself and work on becoming the kind of person (outside of acting) that you want to be, the more confident you’ll be when connecting with other people. It’s an ongoing process over a lifetime, but it’s well worth it, my friends.

I want to leave you with these reminders:

You aren’t better than anyone, and no one is better than you. Walk in to every room proud of your journey, how far you’ve come, and where you’re going. This is just one stop of many. That’s worth owning and celebrating.